Friday, 13 April 2007
For the best part of thirty four years, I've carried the burdens and scars of a troubled upbringing. As a child I would seek refuge in my imagination where I would dream I was king of a land where everyone was nice to each other. As I grew older and got caught up in wrong crowds, I sought refuge - from verbal and physical abuse - in drugs and alcohol. This was my way out. I'd get so out of it, I wouldn't be capable of caring about or remembering what happened but the thoughts and nightmares continued so I took more drugs and drank more alcohol. This continued for twenty one years.
The constant verbal and physical abuse, unnecessary beatings, humiliation, intimidation, constant fear of my old man, the constant control over everything I used to do, watching him change from a nice dad to a fearful man as he drank, constantly treading on eggshells, knowing that once he started drinking - look out! Someone was going to cop it one way or another. Being the only boy I copped more than my sisters, although most of the time I didn't mind because I thought; "Better me than them." I was constantly feeling like I was never good enough, useless and being told this took its toll - being told; "If you do that again, you'll wish God never put breath into you." Sometimes I'd wish I was dead so I wouldn't have to put up with this all the time.
I made a promise to God and myself as a young boy that I would never put my kids through this, I'm so determined my children will never feel the way I felt growing up.
But all praise and glory be to God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ! I am free from all of this now and forever! When Richard prayed that night - Friday the 13th of April 2007 - I knew God was speaking to me. As I raised my hands, with eyes closed, the tears pouring down my face, I felt the chains of twenty one years of bondage being lifted instantly. I knew God was healing me as Richard continued praying. I am now a free man! I am a child of God! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Amen!
- Shannon G